Favourite Mistake
by liveloverock-2010
Summary: Wanda as Pet must learn to survive by a whole new lifestyle when issues push her not only from Ian, but from the cave as well. Life, Love and meaning of soul mates are now under questioning.  Multiple POV's soon
1. Chapter 1

Favourite Mistake

Chapter 1

Staring Back At Me

So I'll run, I'll hide, I'll start again with a brand new name, but is this enough to save him the hurt? Not by far a part of me screamed, but the rest of me was pleading with every molecule that it was. I wanted it to be so, wanted for myself to actually be able to believe this could be so, but there was a nagging sensation. I guess most called it common sense. This body was so polite, so innocent that even before she was taken over she'd never been faced with a decision like this. A decision that could ultimately make or break the rest of someone's life. Of someone's life she cared about. Whether his life was long or short in perspective, if I did him wrong now it was something I'd live lifetimes feeling the guilt of.

The pain cut so deep though, I wasn't sure if what I was contemplating would even be possible. The challenges of love we'd endured already were monumental, now was I going to undo this? I'd once told him that no matter what form I took that I'd always love him, that he'd be the only one for me and it couldn't be more true, but this just made the choice all the harder. All the time I'd spent with him had seemed like the shortest but fullest life I'd spent. Nothing had been more fulfilling and more shaping in my life than meeting the love of my lives, but it'd never occurred to me that he may have loved before me. The idea seemed impossible ... But it was true.

It seemed like a surreal mess when the day came, like I was a thief, that Ian had never really been mine. I never for a moment doubted the love Ian had for me, it had came like nothing I'd ever experience when I realised that it was love, that this gentle creature I'd once believed to be a monster loved me. Me, whom he'd been taught was a danger and not worthy of life. Which was why when Grace turned up I felt wrong. Our love seemed forbidden but before the caves when Ian belonged to Grace it was natural, it was love. It shouldn't have ended. My kind tore them apart which just made my guilt mound.

I knew how I'd feel about her if I was still bound to Mel. I'd dislike her; I'd hate her if possible. All the rage and resentment would be there that she got a life with Ian. A normal life. That she had more claim over his love than I did, but mostly because her being here, her presence in Ian's life again made me question whether I was enough for him. Whether the love I have for him is enough to keep him satisfied or whether he needs to seek it with someone else. Someone he has a past with. Grace.

The sound of tears hitting the loose sand below was quiet but echoed in the empty room. I hadn't noticed that the low golden beams that shied their way through the cracks in the cave roof had receded to the point of non existence. They were replaced now by a dim grey light cast by weak stars above. I could barely see the ground, but I knew my way around night or day so the suns beams were hardly needed. I had no idea how long I'd been here but from the moons position I'm guessing it was early evening. Around time food would be served.

I was thankful that Mel and Jamie understood I wanted to be alone. It was obvious to them both that I had a lot to think about and they helped keep away unwanted visitations. Jeb had tried to pull me out of chore rotation to give me time to think but it was the last thing I needed, I needed to keep my mind occupied because every time I reminded myself that Ian was out on raid my heart tore to pieces with worry and the pain of separation. The distress I felt any time he left was excruciating. It felt as though my body was a lead weight, but where my heart should be was hollow. I couldn't find what was keeping me alive because it wasn't mine. It was Ian's and when he left he took my heart leaving me incapable to breathe without him. To function or feel whole without him. He took the weight off me, carried me like a feather in only the way he could, but remembering that he was on a raid with Grace was the knife in the side. She belonged to Burns clan, met a few days ago before the raid, I was saying my goodbyes to Ian and the rest was a blur. He noticed her, she noticed him, I'm not quite sure but Kyle put it simply for me.

It was probably impossible that they wouldn't have a connection again, re-spark their flame. They were both survivors, both strong willed and independent. Both knew the joys and the wonders of each other's love. How could he leave though? He must've seen how much I was worried, was scared for us. Ian knew me better than I knew myself ... But he didn't notice, because he was distracted by her and how could he not be? She was gorgeous. Well maintained jet black hair, vivid emerald eyes and golden kissed skin. She was taller than me, but not as tall as Ian. It killed but I had to admit they looked the couple. Contrasting in every feature but drawn as one by their deep dark hair, their godly looks. By their love.

It wasn't until I could hear a fast paced pair of feet echo down the hall that I remember that this world didn't consist of only Ian, Grace and me. There was a whole gathering held together by the walls of these caves and right now it was likely Jamie was on his way down to settle for the night. Though he understood my need for lonesome he couldn't bring himself to allow me to sleep alone. He said to fight away terrors such as Kyle mistaking me for food in a sleep walking state, but I knew it was because he wanted me to see him; as a reminder that there is more love for me down here than just Ian's.

I was still unsure just why this host had the compulsion not to be seen crying, but it felt like a deep shame and weakness if it was. Instinct had me recoiling into the mattress, curled on my side away from entrance shielding me in consisting of two heavy doors.

The footsteps were dimming in pace and rested to a stop outside the doors. It wasn't hard making my breaths deep enough to pass of that of an unconscious state, so stifling my cries and letting the tears fall silently, I imitated a sleeping state as Jamie gently placed the doors back into place oh so quietly hoping not to wake me.

It was un-nerving but it felt as though a pair of pleading eyes were burning into my back for a long time. I'd heard Jamie settle on his mattress he'd dragged in next to mine but one snore was yet to be. I wasn't sure if Jamie knew the truth that I wasn't sleeping, that I was playing his as a fool as he'd feel, but right now I hadn't the heart to be worried about that.


	2. Chapter 2

Favourite Mistake

Chapter 2

Decided

"I know that you can carry on, we're going see the world out." It was almost chilling when I heard the quiet words fill the small room. It'd been a long while since Jamie had entered, I hadn't forgotten for a moment he was there but I wasn't expecting him to speak, much less his words to be of a serious conviction.

The next sound was probably the most wonderful thing I'd heard in a long time. It was a chuckle, a short one but it was from Jamie which made the sound all the more wonderful.

"I had a feeling you weren't sleeping." His tone was light and void of any hurt, but to these ears it sounded tensed. Almost forced. That Jamie was trying that little bit too hard on his nonchalant facade. Nevertheless I was caught. It seemed to painful to even speak to this young boy who meant so much me after what I was planning, let alone to face him so I forced out a short reply.

"What gave me away?" My voice was flat and monotonous even to my ears which made me feel bad. Jamie was putting in effort which was a favour I wasn't returning, just like I couldn't return his favour of looking at me as he spoke.

I could see him clearly in my head as he spoke, "You froze as I was speaking." I could see the one shoulder shrug as he started off his words, the grin as he explained how he was right; A dying mannerism of his youth. Even the distress he held in his eyes that he tried so hard to hide. This child was etched into my mind as clear as day. He was such a part of my life, even more so in my memories. I still shared Mel's memories; I could remember him growing up even though I hadn't been there. Was I really going to trade in seeing him progress into maturity to save the pain of one?

It was the honest truth and full to the brim of depth when I replied those two simple words that can mean everything or nothing. "I'm sorry." The meaning behind my words wouldn't be fully clear to him yet, but he was soon to find out. I was apologising for everything. For what I was going to do, for coming here in the first place, for how rudely I was treating him now, but mostly for every single bit of pain I have or will ever cause him.

"You're always apologising, Wanda, even when you've nothing to be sorry for." Something about it humoured Jamie as he followed it with a genuine laugh. His laugh wasn't that of a child nor yet of an adult; but that of a blissfully happy adolescent.

Fresh tears stung at my eyes as I thought of how much I'd miss him. Jamie was the closest thing to a child I'd had in all my lifetimes. My maternal instincts to him were strong and deeply routed... Almost as deeply as my devotion to Ian.

Jamie was young though. He could learn to deal and adapt; After all he has grown to be the miraculous person he is even after losing his parents. In many ways it had shaped him to whom he was now; this strong, brave and determined child who was accepting of even the strangest of creatures. He was unlike anyone I'd ever known; he'd accepted me from the start in ways my kind couldn't accept his. More so he'd accepted me into his family and considered me one of his own, like I did for him.

He never ceased to amaze me which is how I know he'll cope.

Jamie must've been waiting for a reply longer than I'd though because I heard him shuffling about. When he kneeled on my mattress my body rolled back slightly and my knees fell from my chest. I felt more vulnerable now I was more exposed. It wasn't a feeling a liked but when I felt a pair of warm lips press to my forehead there was a moment of clarity. For that split moment I felt safe, I felt loved. For that moment every thought of the future was gone.

All I wanted to do was pull him into an embrace and not let go. I wanted to open up to him and cry but I knew once I released the flood gates it wouldn't stop and if I was going to carry through with my plan tonight, to share myself with him would take too long and Jamie wouldn't let me out of his sights until he was happy enough that I was deemed ok.

It had to be tonight though. It was now or never and I was doing this for him. For Ian. So I bit my lower lip to hold back the desperate cries pleading to escape and turned my face into the skinny mattress and allowed it to soak up the tears that refused to stay locked in.

When the first snore filled the room, it was clear the hour was approaching. Jamie was fast asleep; anyone would've mistaken him for being in a comatose state if it wasn't for the ground shaking snores. He was growing into a strong young lad, growing more like Jared everyday which I was sure Mel would be very proud of. I was.

Pulling my body up from cold mattress I felt weak. I was dehydrated as I had cried out most of my salts; most of the nutrients I needed. I'd also been laying limp on what was as good as the ground for a long time now, must've have skipped more than one meal, and all my muscles were malnourished. Sure that I would be too weak to make it out alive I came to the decision that I would need to not only feed before I left, but to take a few supplies.

The caves were of short supply on everything. What was left was hard bread, some rice, limited quantities of a few things like beans, dried nuts and I was hoping that there would be some left over's from earlier this evening. Ridden with guilt at the though, I knew it was unavoidable.

I knelt forward leaning towards where Jamie lay, savouring the moment as I saw the child in Jamie show; the side of him he, like every other teenager from my host's memories, was trying too hard to grow when all he should be doing was living his youth while it was there.

Late as it may have been, I pressed my lips softly against his face that was for the most part covered with his thick lock of hair in return to his previous kiss. My mind was flooded with my goodbye to Ian the night I chose to give Mel back her body for good and a fresh flood of tears welled up and rolled softly down my cheek before landing just shy of where Jamie's oblivious body lay.

It would be my final goodbye and I knew he deserved more than what I was giving to him, but I couldn't bear to see anymore hurt on his face that was the result of me. At this moment the shame I felt was unimaginable and my self-worth was at an all time low.

Closing my eyes I pushed myself to my feet; unsteady beneath me, my legs threatened to give way but as long as I remembered who I was doing this for I was strong enough to put one foot in front of the other.

Standing at the door I took one last glance back at the child I was leaving behind and my heart ached for him; yearned that this wouldn't hurt, but it was unavoidable. His dark hair blending into the dark of the night and his pale body was being shadowed by the light of the moon revealing the muscle that was forming. It was becoming clearer that he wasn't as young as he was in my mind; clearer that he wouldn't need me like he once did.


	3. Chapter 3

Favourite Mistake

Chapter 3

On The Edge

Can we survive the heart that's lost control? A question that had been popular before my kind came here to Earth but one no soul had ever really been confronted with. I'd learnt a lot about heart ache since being a part of this race but no matter how much I knew, it was never enough to prepare myself for the onslaught of pain.

Even just walking down the tunnels memories tried to blockade me here. My own mind was trying to trap me to the confines of the caves. Throwing memories at me at every turn. As I found my way to the meeting point of the eight dorm tunnels I could see myself with Ian. The evenings where he'd whisk me away before anyone could notice and we'd just stay hidden in a lowly populated tunnel in each other's arms until we were caught. I could see the way someone else would see us; a pair of school children. He'd lead me, my hand gripping tightly to his as he raced us to togetherness with me almost running to keep up and giggling to myself the whole way, lost in the sapphire eyes that bore into my soul every time he looked back to check on me.

Approaching the mirrored room light grew bright under the reign of the moon. It was eerie as figures came in from every way, meeting in small groups of two and three, and then coming from the eastern tunnel it was Jamie along with Ian and Jared. In his hand Jared was spinning a football which was badly battered. Even from the other side of the communal it was evident that small bits of the game rooms wall were embedded into the skin of the ball. Each of the three men were grinning and breathing heavily as chokes of laughter came between punches. It had taken me a while but I could remember how accepting I was of this brotherly exchange by this time but it was then when Ian had noticed me standing there. Seeing the way his features changed, the way they warmed with love each time he saw me, melted my heart every time. It was a look that would never grow old. Picking up speed I remembered the way Ian ran towards me that day, ran to scoop me into his embrace. I could remember the way his heart beat felt against me. It had felt surreal that what was happening was real but I'd loved each beat as the moment drew to close, but now as Ian raced to me, his figured faded with the light, leaving me standing in the middle of the communal. Standing there alone, cold and hurt.

Though there was an advancing voice that didn't fit with the memory. As much as I'd been lost in the love I was sure Jeb hadn't been a part of it, but I could hear his words echoing. I wasn't sure but it sounded as like he was cursing someone. He didn't sound pleased at all which is when it struck me that this wasn't a part of the memory. Jeb was advancing from where I'd just come from. I had to hide, Jeb couldn't see me; he wouldn't accept me leaving. Rushing quickly, worrying that with every stone I kicked I would be heard, I clambered into a small crevice in the wall. It was big enough that I could press my back to wall and still be shielded by the shadows. It made more sense to hide there than run down a tunnel because if Jeb was headed where I was running I knew it'd be plans over. The only way he'd stumble upon me here is if he planned to walk smack into a wall.

The voices were growing stronger and it sounded like Doc was hissing profanities back at Jeb. Trying to zero in on what was being said I could hear Kyle's name being mentioned as well as Jared's. From what I could tell of their short tempered tones, it seemed like Kyle was, for once, in the right. It was when I heard Ian's name coincide with Graces that my blood ran cold and my every muscle tensed.

"The boy must've been born yesterday." Jeb's voice was displeased to say the least. He was tensing himself from raising his voice to the decibel he'd like. "What he did could've gotten us caught. Ian should know better by now. He's acting more like Kyle!"

"Cut him some slack. You know the effect Grace has on him as well as I do." Doc seemed to be defending Ian but his words were no comfort to me. It took a lot of strength not to sink to the floor where I stood and wallow but something in me held me strong to my feet. Much like when Mel would take over in my weaker moments.

"I don't bleeding care. He almost got us caught but now thanks to the idiot the raid will be cut short. We needed this haul now God only knows when we'll get a chance to go again." Jeb seemed to be getting more frustrated with each word.

Next thing both men came to a halt a mere three feet from where I stood holding my breath for all I was worth. One of the men let out a deep sigh of frustration. I could see their silhouettes if I strained my eyes. From what I could tell it was Doc who sighed. My assumption was that he knew Jeb was right.

"I'll go pull the guys off watch out. We'll meet you in the games room in ten to figure out what to do. I'm sure they'll be back before dawn." Doc was calmer now, almost resigned to what was happening. But what was happening?

"A'right son, I'll go get a lamp now." Rational old poker faced Jeb was back now. His voice was hushed and almost disheartened but he kept up his facade.

Jeb headed back the way he'd came, at no greater speed than he though necessary mumbling what I could only assume was gross profanities under his breath, and Doc headed out the communal at the opposite side, heading to pull who I assumed to be Aaron and Brandt off guard duty. I hadn't seen them during the day anywhere so it made sense that they'd be on night guard duty during the raiding times.

It was puzzling me as to what Ian had done but the only thing I could think of was that Ian had been carelessly distracted by Grace the way he'd once been with me.

I had to guide myself by clawing at the wall with my hands. I couldn't support myself alone and it was hard to find any fluidity in my motions but instinct was pulling me towards where we kept the food. I couldn't bear the idea of eating now. I'd just have to carry what I could because right now I was feeling sick to the core. It made no sense to me how heart ache could affect your appetite, I just knew it did.

My mind had reeled over Ian the whole way but soon I found myself clambering to my hole. My first hideaway. Fighting back yet more memories of Ian I finally allowed myself to sink to the ground. I couldn't be long; I had merely a few hours to get far enough away that the guys returning from the raid wouldn't find me. It wouldn't be easy now they were coming home, but I couldn't be here when Ian got back. The idea of being caught out there by him was even more heartbreaking. He would never let me leave because somewhere I knew he still loved me, and Kyle would sooner kill me than let me go. He'd been more accepting of me sure, but when it came to me he took every precaution, still worried I'd turn and sell them out. I could never sell these people out. They were my family, I loved them wholly. Even those who didn't feel the same. No one down here would trust me if I got dragged back by though. To me it would be a fate worse than death to be caught.


	4. Chapter 4

Favourite Mistake

Chapter 4

Returning

"No matter what gets in my way, as long as there's still life in me." My temper was wearing thin. It was taking everything I had in me not to bellow back at Jeb. I'd made one mistake, I knew that, but Jeb seemed unwilling to accept my apology.

"See now boy," Jeb wasn't bothering to hold his tone back at me, his voice was hardly above his usual decibel but if you were close enough to him to know the difference then you should know you were in for it, "What you did disagrees. 'As long as there's life still in me' my arse. That little stunt you pulled could've had us all caught do you not see that?" Taking a deep sigh Jeb's composure seemed to calm a little before his rational side spoke again. "Look Ian, we're all aware of your past with this girl but you need to put that aside when you're raiding. Your foolish behaviour has you acting more like your fool of a brother."

I was resigned to having to admit that Jeb was right. Explosions like my fight with Grace was something Kyle would've done. If I was honest with myself; it was something that I would've done in my earlier years. Looking up to Kyle like I had done as a teen had had me picking a few bad habits that I shouldn't have learnt. Habits that being with Wanda diminished.

Remembering the little worried look on Wanda's face as I said something she would deem vicious made my heart beat faster. The raid had been cut short at mere days but seconds apart would hurt. At this point I would tell Jeb anything he wanted to hear just so I could get out of this room. I needed to see Wanda, to hold her tightly. Absence makes the heart grow stronger but it also feels like a deep loss.

Right now though, I was surrounded. Aaron was covering my left, Brandt my right with Andy keeping tracks on me from behind. They were there to stop me running, though it more often than not felt like they were there to persuade their one sided, narrow minded opinion upon the man in front of me to get anyone, friend or foe, in a punishment of some sort. Stood in front of me was Jeb with his blazing denim eyes.

"Now tell me son, what was it all about?" His demeanour had softened and he seemed genuinely sorry that we were here in this situation, but I could see his usual deep run curiosity but I was reluctant to tell the cause of the fight. Kyle had happily regaled stories of Grace and my fights over the years in these caves never failing to mention the frequency or the severity of the occasions. Kyle seemed almost proud at times. Grace and my relationship was a strained thing, it took everything we had not to kill each other but for some unfathomable reason it took us two years to end the thing. And it was a messy ending at that.

So drawing upon an old case, I gritted my teeth and lied through them. "She was assuming me an imbecile; telling me how to raid, treating me like a child and her voice itself goes through me."

I knew it wasn't a good reason, or the real reason for our public display of distaste, but it was a reason that covered almost every base that would get me out of here as soon as possible.

"Oh come on boy!" Cutting himself off, Jeb stopped there. He seemed highly disapproving of my excuse as expected. Grunting back any further response he nodded at the boys to release me. I assumed that Jeb had more to say to me but would feel patronising to do so, I was almost sure that I'd pay for this when next raid came around and it was certain that this would not be the last time I heard of this in any case, but Jeb was releasing me now which mean I could go find Wanda. At this time I presumed she was still asleep but as I turned to go, all three men stood squarely in my way. I could feel my eyes narrowing into a thin challenging line. I may not be allowed to pick another fight up there, but down here these guys were fair game; these guys were getting between Wanda and me and that was just unacceptable.

"Move!" The command came from my lips in a snarl. A fierce sound to even my ears but not one man stepped from my view.

Taking a deep breath and unintentionally turning my lips into a sinister grin I composed myself and tried a second approach. "Move," Still a command but adding unnecessary emphasise on the next word in a patronising way I added, "Please."

Unwillingly, and presumably under a threatening glare from Jeb besides me, one by one each man parted allowing me room to pass, Aaron and Brandt particularly reluctant to do so and showing this clearly with a strong set jaw and thunderous eyes.

I let a soft, un-humoured laugh escape my snarling lips as I passed. Neither man scared me in the least, and if they tried to prevent me being with Wanda once more I'd flatten them without a moment's hesitation.


	5. Chapter 5

Favourite Mistake

Chapter 5

Am I Ready?

The need to do the right this was the driving force behind my every step. The weight upon my back was beginning to wear on me; I could feel it pulling this fragile host down. Perched upon my back was the same bag I had arrived with and similarly stocked in comparison with my first journey upon this vast, dry plane of beauty. Problem was that Mel was a far stronger host than Pet was. In the few months down in the caves my duties had hardened this body but it was doubtful she could endure the likes of Mel; of who could barely make the trek herself. But was my reason greater than Mel's? We were both driven by the people we care for most, but Mel was driven by hope and faith that Jamie and Jared would be there. There was always a horrible spec of doubt. I _knew _Ian was there. I knew that while he was I couldn't be there. It would be unfair for me to take what little chance he had left of a normal life with a normal girl he loved.

I'd been over this so many times in my head that the tears had dried and it played on repeat monotonously, but the pain of each replay never lessened, a new spike hit my chest each time I thought about exactly how much I was leaving behind.

I wasn't quite sure how long I'd been walking out here, for it had felt like a long time ago that my journey began. I knew that soon I would have to find shelter as the midday sun was rising to its peak and walking in that could be fatal.

On the close horizon I could see one of the four marking foundations Jeb had drawn for Mel all those years ago. Hopefully the rock should cast a large enough shadow to hide within, and if not my prayers were going for shrubbery at the base which I could hide under, but the dry ache from my limbs made me question profusely if it was possible to make it that far. I'd been walking for hours as it was, and in the scorching heat at that. This was far further than I'd ever travelled in this host and now was probably the worst time I could've chosen to test Pet's physical limits.

Even if any by miracle I did make it by peak, if I sat down even for a moment, would I be able to get up again; to continue my journey?

Each step I forced myself forward with was an excruciating fight. A weak, pathetic effort in comparison to the strength of a human. Goodness and health were virtues granted to every soul, and even though complete health was something I'd survived well without during my days down there, the natures of survival which was a feature of almost every member of the little known surviving human race was far beyond that of which could ever be granted to a soul. Even with a rebel host such as Mel, it seemed that those instincts weren't something that could be learnt, and it also seemed that without them this may be a wasted effort from the start. That without the inner strength and instinct of the human mind, finding the will power to make it to the other side of the desert wasn't something that would happen.

It had seemed like many of hours before I found the rock foundation looming over me. It was a magnificent sight of nature. In any other situation I could've spent hours marvelling of its wonders, but this wasn't just any situation.

It was narrow, but outlining sections and crevices of the rock was a skirt of shaded shelter. Putting every last bit of strength Pet had in her being, I forced myself into a small run towards the shade and collapsed to my knees, my hands catching my fall, in the moments I became entombed by the cool darkness.

By now the sun was about an hour from peak and the sun was horribly strong. The shade was refreshing and allowed a small breeze to blow cool against my skin in return for the heat that was moments before wrapping itself around my exposed face, causing the blood to burn bright in my cheeks.

The relief of dropping the backpack to the ground was immense. The straps were beginning to engrave themselves into each shoulder, which was a hard physical pain to endure, and it was knotting my back something horrendous.

The ground from where the bag fell lifted up in exchange, swirling in small spirals around me and the bag; picking up in the breeze and settling in a new location to previous.

Hungrily, my fingers snatched at the zip. My throat felt like it had been cut then forced to swallow sand paper. The sensation was a bleeding raw pain that hurt with every swallow. Pulling it out rapidly, I retrieved a bottle of water from the depths of the bag and pulled the cap off with every haste.

It eased a morsel of pain to feel the liquid, no matter how warm it was by this time, trickle down the back of my throat, to coat what felt like fresh open wounds in what it needed to wash away the sting.

I'd brought limited supplies, it was the most I could carry, but it'd been a long time since I'd last drunk anything and self control was low. I swallowed down a good three quarters of a single bottle in one go, saddened further by the trails that escaped in a small stream down either side on mouth, collecting in a small pool in the dust below, refreshing the skin of my legs and arms where a few drops landed.

I remembered how severely Mel had warned me about wasting my supplies early on and my actions made me feel weak in being, but it was necessary. Wasn't it?

After my mistake with how much of my water I'd drunk, I aimed for the smallest item of food in my bag; a wheat granola bar. It was fairly dry in texture, but between the different grains and oats, it had quite a few nutrients I needed so it would have to do.

With less haste, the granola bar disappeared. It tasted so wondrous right now. All that I'd tasted in over a day was dirt and sand combined, neither of which was particularly pleasant in taste.

With nothing left to do but let the food and water do its job, I settled down to my side, my head resting limply on the now closed back pack, and allowed my muscles a break. To allow my limbs to hang of their own accord, not pushing them forward or burdening them with a great weight was a small gift from God. It was a gift I'd never really taken for granted after sharing memories with Mel. She'd been through hard times like these far beyond my time here on Earth. Times like these were Mel's life for many a months. Experiencing them to store in Pet's body was proving to be a lot harder than it had been with Mel and this break was a small joy I would store because I knew I would have to get moving because if it wasn't Ian who'd noticed me gone, it was sure that Jamie would be looking for me, probably Mel was well. They knew the cave walls inside out, they'd seen every little place I chose to hide so the game room would be first to look, and in a few hours when they didn't find me there, like they had done the previous time I'd hidden, Ian, or much less Jeb, would send a search party out up here and each man they would send could probably run this distance in less than half the time I took to walk it. I had to stay at least 4 hours ahead if I were to not be caught.

My lids felt heavy in place and I realised it had been just as long, if not longer, since I'd slept as it had been since I'd eaten. There was little point forcing myself to stay awake, the sleep would help my body heal in ways it would be harder to do in consciousness. So with little fight I let my eyes droop shut and for my mind to drift away into the imaginative creation of dreams. Normally in heat of this magnitude it would've been a hard thing to do, but my body and mind were both worn and in need of repair. Sleep became simple; it was what I was to wake up to that scratched at the back of my mind.


	6. Chapter 6

Favourite Mistake

Chapter 6

Missing

As the sun set it was taunting everyone in the caves. At sun down we could safely send a party out to search for Wanda, but the more the desperation swelled up in each person, the longer the sun seemed to be taking to say goodbye.

The sun was dimed in the sky, demonic shades of red and oranges seeping through the holes in the roof of the sleeping chambers, casting almost a blood ridden glow over the bodies inhabiting the room, of who were caked in purple bruises with rivers washed away by sweat.

He was sat, possessed by the shadows in the corner of the room, arms tightly constricting his own knees. It was painful for me to watch the child I loved as my own, who could no longer be classed as a child in all honesty; blame himself for Wanda's disappearance. It caused deep sorrow that one thing I've never been able to provide Jamie fully was the emotional comfort he needed.

Whilst I watched Mel try to get through to him, all I could do was stand backed to the wall, my hands clasped tight behind my back, clenching tighter with each tear that rolled down the boys worn cheeks.

"You couldn't have known what she was going to do, no one could." I was sure I'd heard this line before; things seemed to be going in circles.

It was a sure sign that he was hurt when he allowed Mel, or anyone for that matter, to hold him as he cried. Mel's arms enveloped Jamie's crumpled figure. He didn't fit in to her side the way he did as that nine year old I first met him as did, but nothing of the image seemed out of place. Jamie's head still rested on Mel's awaiting shoulder, her arms barely reached around his newly broad shoulders, but they made it.

Exchanges of pain filled self criticisms and tear drenched reassurances filled the spaces in the room and it seemed that there was better I could be doing with my time. Staying here was paining me, I also felt out of place in this sibling exchange.

It wasn't hard to sneak out past the screen unnoticed. I'd like to have said it was because silence and agility was a skill I'd acquired from the many years spent hiding out, but honestly it seemed more as though my presence in the room was forgotten.

My legs guided me off instinct to where they felt my presence was needed because my mind was lost deep in thought. Truth be told, the deepest hurt was that I felt betrayed by Wanda. It was no secret that upon her arrival in the caves, my tolerance of her was for Mel's sake, for Mel's body, but it was also known that I backed Ian in keeping her safe. I'd put a lot on the line, much like Ian, to keep her safe and it seems she's thrown it in our face. Sharon will have a field day. Never warmed to her; always paranoid. Same went for Kyle. He learnt compassion for her kind whilst Sunny was around, but when the miracle came in the form of his Jodi finding herself again, much of his old thoughts returned. This time though, he was under the thumb of Jodi. She saw to it that those thoughts weren't sounded for the repercussions were possibly monumental. In the short time I'd gotten to know her, it was evident as to who was the brain in that relationship.

If we were right, if Wanda was no longer in the caves, then what she was doing was reckless, selfish, and most of all potentially dangerous to us all. Whether she gives up information voluntarily or otherwise, if she makes it to the other side, they will get her secret; our secret. Though if she doesn't, a body in the dessert will look highly suspicious, especially with the accounts of seeker Lacey.

We'd have to find her and if we didn't, was it really possibly to survive in the backup cave?

The taunting sun had risen and set and still I hadn't rested for a moment. The search party consisted of the entire cave; even Sharon and Maggie. She had to be here, Wanda always turned up somewhere, even if it was the smallest crevice in the largest, darkest room. She was always here ... But it was as if she'd disappeared off the face of the earth, though the saying has felt wrong knowing that it was possible for her disappear off the earth. It seemed it was time to start sending a group up to the surface.

Scrambling through the every last impossible chasm of the game room I was coming out empty handed. It was lit up from every corner of the ceiling so now there was little left to the imagination but there was an endless depth to my hope.

Standing out from the hurried pounds as feet punched the stone floor, a single pair of feet approached, heavy and rhythmic. I clenched my eyes as a figure shadowed my light. It was too careful to be anything good.

"I'm sorry." Jared knelt down beside me and a heavy hand fell on my shoulder. Rocking back on the heels of my feet, my head hung forward.

"Don't be," my voice sounded stronger than I felt, "she's here somewhere." I didn't wholly believe what I was saying, I wanted to but I couldn't see how the chances were in my favour, but if I wasted anymore time sitting around, I may miss something.

Pushing lithely to my feet in one swift movement, I set off on stride again. My fingers limply trailed the walls in search of anything out of place in the dark caves and I could hear Jared's footsteps follow steadily behind mine. It always worried me; his silence was a scary thing. There was always a plan running through his mind or an opinion he'd rather keep his own at the foundations of his silence. Today it was about Wanda, or caused by Wanda, or related to her in some way. I had to know. If it was about my Wanda, it was my business.

Stopping sharply in my stride I spun to face Jared. "What're you thinking? And don't lie to me." The severity of my tone was evident; clear as day. At my words Jared composure hardened, his face set to a dark mask, his eyes turned to rocks; impossible to see through.

"I'm thinking about Jamie." Steady and convicting, but it wasn't all there.


End file.
